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Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

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273 How Do You Overcome Grief after the Death of a Child?

Jul 5, 2024

Episode Summary: 

No parent expects to live longer than their children. The death of a child brings such unimaginable grief that is almost impossible for others to relate to if they haven’t walked that road. On this episode, I had a conversation with Alycia Morales about the pain, the wounds, and now the sacred scars she bears after her son, Caleb, died a few years ago. She shares the hope that she has found to help her as she grieves. Listen for how to overcome grief from the death of a child.


Quotables from the episode:

  • Frequently, some areas of our greatest areas of ministry come out of our greatest areas of woundedness and pain.
  • The death of our son caused emotional, relational, and spiritual wounds and pain.
  • I experienced a bout with grief amnesia and couldn’t remember any of the details of his death, until one by one God reminded me what happened and it was like I re-experienced it all over again.
  • Despite death touching each one of us, it’s just a shadow because Jesus conquered it.
  • Even though darkness is overwhelming and I couldn’t see through it, as soon as you let God’s light in, that shadow shifts or disappears completely. So I needed to let God’s light shine into my grief.
  • I went to the Word looking for encouragement and God promises that if we will call out to Him, He will answer you.
  • Grief is a gift from God, but if we’re not careful, it’ll lead us into places we aren’t meant to go.
  • As all the first holidays, his birthday, and the anniversary of his death approached, I could feel myself going deeper and darker, and I realized I was under a spirit of grief, but the minute my pastor prayed over me, that came off me.
  • The hole that my son left in my heart is still there, but is precious to me.
  • We have complete healing in Christ through little drops of his healing balm in our lives.
  • The essence behind Sacred Scars is that we will all go through some form of pain and woundedness, but in the hands of a holy and redemptive God, He can and will bring good from it. What the enemy intended for harm, God will use for good for the saving of His people (Gen. 50:20).
  • Six months after my son died, I was able to comfort another family whose son died.
  • When we’re willing to be authentic and vulnerable and transparent about our pain, even though sometimes it’s really embarrassing what we’ve gone through, what we’ve done, or what’s been done to us, when we bring that out of the dark and into the light, and we share it with others, it brings them comfort.
  • You could step in and comfort that couple in a different way because you understood. You knew what they needed because you had been through something similar, in a way that others of us could not know. That’s a beautiful example of God redeeming the pain in our lives.
  • As I started writing about our grief journey, it helped others know how to help someone else who is going through this.
  • We all still have things that God has called us to do in life and we have people He wants us to minister to out of that pain we’ve endured, and He has lives that He wants to restore out of our pain, and He can use our testimony for His glory.
  • Even though my son died, I have to keep living, I have to keep going. It’s not that we move on, but rather, we move forward with God walking with us through the rest of the story.
  • Every day we get closer to being reunited with our loved ones so continue walking out your faith.

Scripture References:

  • Ecclesiastes 3:4 “…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…”
  • Proverbs 18:1 “An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.”
  • Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
  • Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

 

Recommended Resources: 

 

Social Media Links for Guest and Host:

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Guest:

Alycia Morales is the author of Surviving the Year of Firsts: A Mom’s Guide to Grieving Child Loss (*Janis, Alycia is hoping this releases in July 2024, so if it does, we could insert an affiliate link here). She and her husband Victor live in South Carolina, where they’ve raised six kids to adulthood. You can find her at AlyciaWMorales.com

 

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson