Feb 13, 2020
Episode Summary:
If you have ever had marriage struggles or have friends or loved
ones who struggle in their marriage, or just want to improve your
marriage, then today is the perfect show for you.
In this episode, my guest, Pam Farrel, and I discuss how to
thrive, not just survive, in marriage. Relationships are hard, but
marriage is on an entirely different level. And sometimes the
things we loved about our fiance’ is the same thing that we grow to
dislike or resent in marriage. But Pam will discuss how to grow our
love for our mate.
Quotables from the episode:
- Sometimes wisdom breeds willingness to change.
- The Farrels encourage a confident covenant, which are rules of
engagement during disagreements.
- Don’t be interested in just solving a marital problem, but also
fall in love with that person again.
- Men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti.
- Women move from one issue to many different issues, but then
tie it all up together, like spaghetti, but men like to keep
individual issue in separate boxes, and resolve each box before
moving on to another box.
- Men park in their boxes, often not thinking about anything,
while women misinterpret their silence.
- In olden days, you pulled together because you had to just to
survive. So emotional needs were not high on the list at that
point. Today we have a different view of survival and includes “Am
I feeling satisfied? Am I feeling peaceful? Am I feeling
fulfilled?”
- If our spouse isn’t making us happy, we mistakenly believe
someone else out there will.
- We live in a social media driven society, where we only get to
see others’ highlights, and people don’t see the real work that has
to be done, and how God meets our needs to pull us
through.Valentine’s Day is like a double-edge sword.
- For singles and widows, get a plan in place before Valentine’s
Day. There are many around you who are feeling the same way.
- Ways to encourage your spouse:
- Let your spouse you know you admire them.
- Commend your spouse in front of their friends or
colleagues.
- Warm up to an idea by asking questions for more details of
their idea.
- Let you know you are praying for them.
- Enthusiastically embrace one of their opinions.
- It only takes one breakthrough. You’re only one breakthrough
away from a stronger relationship.
- The last thing we should do when we’re struggling in our
relationships is to isolate. We need community and the support of
others./
Scripture References:
- Proverbs 19:8 “The one who gets wisdom loves
life.”
- 1 John 4:19 “We love each other because he
loved us first.”
- Ephesians 4:2-3 “With all humility and
gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager
to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
Recommended Resources:
Social Media Links for Host and Guest:
Connect with Pam Farrel:
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Pinterest /
Twitter / Website
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
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Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope
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Guest Pam Farrel:
Pam Farrel, with her husband, Bill, are international speakers,
and authors of over 50 books including best-selling Men
are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. They are
relationship specialists and seek to help people become
“Love-Wise.” Pam has experience as a Pastor’s wife and Women’s
Ministry Director. Pam is a cheerleader, challenger and coach that
believes that "The one who gets wisdom loves life."
(Proverbs 19:8) Her new creative Bible studies are Amazon
bestsellers: Discovering Hope in the Psalms
; Discovering Joy in
Philippians and Discovering Jesus in the Old
Testament. When the Farrels are not traveling for
speaking, you will find them on their live aboard boat or enjoying
their 3 sons, 3 daughters in law and 5 grands. www.Love-Wise.com