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Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Aug 2, 2019

016 Hope for Healing from Physical and Domestic Abuse

Episode Summary:

If you have ever been the victim of physical or sexual abuse, been the target of domestic violence, or survived a traumatic event, then today is the perfect show for you. Today we’re talking about finding hope and healing after trauma, particularly domestic violence.

On this episode, I had a very frank discussion with my friend, Melanie Pickett, who experienced a 15-year marriage that entailed domestic violence and sexual assault but shares how she found hope to go on. Melanie not only shared her story, but also the “red flags” that she missed that others need to be aware of.

Melanie offers practical suggestions for what to do if you are in an abusive relationship, and how to hold on to hope.

Quotables from the episode: 

  • We will all go through hard times, but we have to remember that the trials are just a chapter not the entire story. Life will go on.
  • After experiencing a traumatic event, trauma counseling can be so helpful and so healing.
  • Even in the darkest nights, God still provided.
  • One of the red flags Melanie missed was her husband’s extreme possessiveness which in the extreme isn’t about wanting to be with you but wanting to control and manipulate.
  • Look at your relationships and ask yourself if they really line up with the love chapter in the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Is your relationship patient and kind? Not jealous or boastful or proud or rude? Does it not demand its own way? Is it not irritable and keep no record of being wrong? Does it rejoice over truth and not injustice? That is a good guideline for what a healthy relationship is like.
  • Things to consider in your relationship: Are you afraid? Do you feel unsupported or that you can’t share your true feelings?
  • You’re never more alive than when you are in pain, because that’s when you’re on your knees and God is really working. [click to tweet]
  • Melanie never blamed God for what happened to her. She did, however, blame her ex-husband, but over time she came to a place where she could have compassion for how tormented he must have been.
  • If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s not your fault. It’s not okay that it is happening, and you don’t deserve it.
  • Financial concerns is not a reason to stay in an abusive relationship. God will work everything out.
  • There is help, there is hope. You are not damaged goods.
  • Even though the healing process is painful, there are better days ahead.
  • Good Biblical therapy is key for moving on.
  • Don’t stay in an abusive relationship because you think you can change a person. You can’t. Change has to come from God.
  • Do not minimize your situation by thinking “Well, at least he’s not hitting me” because abuse is abuse and you don’t know when things will escalate, and it might cost you your life
  • The most dangerous time for an abuse victim, is when they are trying to leave. Talk with a counselor, a pastor, a friend, or someone you trust. Make a plan, and then get out to safety.

Scripture References:

  • Psalm 9:9 “The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.”
  • 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”
  • Psalm 63:8 “I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.”
  • Psalm 18:2 “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” 

Recommended Resources:

  • Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Cloud and Townsend
  • “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin De Becker
  • “Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption” by Laura Hillenbrand
  • “One Call Away” by Brenda Warner
  • “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
  • “Hope Prevails Bible Study” by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award

Social Media Links for Host and Guest:

To connect with Melanie Spickett:

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Air Date: July 29, 2018

Guest: Melanie Pickett

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson

Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson